If it’s not going in that direction, thank them for their time and go with your heart knowing you did what was right. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. How early is this commonly done before proposing and, if possible, should it be in person? In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. Thanks again! This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. If you google “Questions a father should ask the man who wants to marry his daughter,” you’ll find some. Is Artifact Uprising the Best Photo Album Option? Do you have meaningful communication? Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth the future path is for everybody. It’s also true that it is now more normal to ask for her father’s blessing, than outright permission, and that’s okay as long as you have a good idea what the answer will be before you even ask! The mother is the most important parent to a girl. You will need to tailor your approach a little, but all the points in this guide still stand. Whether you think of it as a trend, a tradition, or just a nod to the days of antiquity when women needed their father's approval to be passed from the family to a husband, there are some things you should know before broaching the subject with her father. Knowing the man will be important for this part. The first thing to consider is the relationship your future spouse has with their parents. We think it’s a bit of a shame that this particular custom is fading, with most weddings now announced, rather than requested. Talking to the mother is definitely something I would suggest as well! Click here to purchase your copy! Photo by Burnt Exposure Photography. If you don’t know the answer to a question, just say that you don’t know. That is so disrespectful to the mother. Are you ready for this kind of commitment? It could be several days, a week, or months before your actual proposal (just maybe don’t do it on the SAME day. How well do your daughter and her prospective husband communicate? Yes, it’s your wedding, but ensuring a happy fiancée and happy in-laws are something that will repay itself back a thousand-fold over the years. This Amazing Chipotle Wedding Proposal Just Absolutely Made Our Day, 13 Wedding Proposals That Are Anything But Cheesy, John Stamos Just Proposed in the MOST Romantic Way, A Grandpa Filmed His Own Reaction Instead of a Proposal and It’s Hilarious. With that said, here’s what you need to know (based on the most common questions we receive from grooms! What are the best ways to go about it? If you think her parents will be happy for you to marry her, call them and ask to meet for dinner. Keep reading. im so nervous and i just dont know how to ask the man because he is not the easiest person in the world to talk to. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. Chances are you already know whether this can be a constructive conversation or not depending on how well you know the parent, but if there is a time for a calm, rationale back and forth, now would be the time to do it. Regardless of family dynamics, the implications of asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for some. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. It’s no surprise by now to say that many traditions surrounding everything about weddings, from the proposal to the ceremony itself, have changed somewhat. 1. Even recently, an Old Wykehamist friend was advised by his intended to turn up with his bank statements for her father to scrutinise. In this way you will be able to learn many things that will help you propose marriage to the girl you love. You would think asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage would be all about the dad. Alex of Tennessee says, “It’s sexist. This is entirely up to you. "Seeking permission to marry my princess, son what's wrong with your big head?" She says she has found the man of her dreams, and is ready to take the plunge. Yes, take him out to dinner or lunch. 2. But if he does ask, and some fathers might ask, have your replies ready. But even if it’s not YOUR cup of tea but you know it would mean a lot to your partner and her parents, it’s a sweet, courteous and respectful thing to do. This Wedding Proposal Did Not Go As Planned! Or has she expressed her annoyance at the tradition? Once the most important people have been told of your intention to marry, work out who should tell whom and be careful not to steal anybody’s glory. The point is that you took the time and effort to reach out in a meaningful way, which is something your future in-laws will definitely appreciate. You only need a minute because, as we’ve already said, you will want to keep things brief and to the point. To stand in his way could drive her into his arms. What Does an Aquamarine Engagement Ring Symbolize? This, and presenting an engagement ring and having your father give you away on your wedding day. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. But not all of them will care to find out how much money you spent on them and how much you saved for yourself. ), you’ll want to remain calm and continue the discussion. Assuming he agrees – which he probably will – shake hands and have a drink to celebrate. Hopefully you can get a clearer idea of why they might feel this way, and what you could do to help alleviate their concerns. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner. Here are our tips to make sure the whole thing goes as smoothly as possible. He needs to know his daughter will be looked after, and that you’re the man to do it. Complimenting his daughter reflects favorably on how she was raised, which is a compliment for dad as well. Copyright © 1980 - 2020 Estate Diamond Jewelry. There are plenty of women who will appreciate and enjoy the gifts that you buy for them. You’ve possibly had a million conversations with him over the time you and your partner have been together, but nothing will prepare you for this particular chat. How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter. Having your facts right might be an odd thing to say, but you don’t know what questions he might ask you in return. it evolved into asking his permission and then hers, and now finally is done as a mark of respect to the parents/father. How can you be sure? 15 Rustic Wedding Cakes That Will Make You Want a Barn Wedding, 27 of the Best Wedding Registry Ideas for Your Home. I’ve read a couple of articles for tips and advice, and yours takes the cake! ): We suggest reaching out to their father or step-father (or potentially both) and asking if you can stop by their home or go for lunch or coffee. I love how well you put this! There are some really good questions out there to ask, and things to consider. The conversation needn’t be complicated or lengthy, just explain that you love his daughter, would like to marry her, and it would mean a lot if you could have his blessing. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man who Wants to Marry Their Daughter: 1. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. Meet the parents first if you can. We agree! Where are you planning on living long-term. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. SEE MORE: A Husband’s Guide to Getting Married. In 2019, Benjamin co-published the book The Engagement Ring Guide for Men. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. Estate Diamond Jewelry has just released a brand new book that will teach you everything that you need to know before popping the big question! Schedule an appointment at our New York City showroom. But why? When popping the question to her father, steer clear of praising his … Thank you so much for taking the time to share your wisdom and thoughts on this. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. There are plenty of those, and if that is what you are dealing with, don’t bother. If you have problems with the suitor, keeping your mouth shut can give her a chance to see it for herself. His favorite vintage jewelry era is the Art Deco Era and his favorite type of stone is the Kashmir Sapphire. It’s unlikely her father will refuse to give his blessing, even if he really doesn’t really like you! In … Jean……It’s far from sexist. The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. You are wonderful parents, and I know that (girlfriend’s name) is such a kind and caring person today because of that. And for the most part, it is. A compliment about his daughter is, by extension, a compliment about him and the way he raised her. Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. During your discussion a great way to start is to talk about your feelings towards your partner, and that with their blessing you plan on proposing. But what if you do intend to ask for your partner’s hand? So if you are about to pop the question, how and when should you approach your partners parent(s), and who should you ask? The good news is that we have worked with 1000’s engaged couples in the 40 years that we’ve been in business. I’m here today because I would like to ask your daughter to marry me, and I would be honored to have your blessing.” Do You Only Ask the Father? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. There is no short answer to this question. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. The world we live in today has lost its way and is now missing out on true romance with respect, courtesy and chivalry. Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. “When daughters were married, there was a dowry … In terms of step-parents you’ll want to make sure you include them as well. We have the answer for you! May I Marry Your Daughter? Here’s one and here’s another. Are they worried about something you haven’t considered yet (such as religious objections, etc.) © 2021 Woman Getting Media, LLC. The real key is confidence. Never lie. Good luck to those that read this for advice! By this point, it may be that your partner’s mother already knows. How are you planning on supporting your family? If you don’t live in the same state, a phone call would be the way to go (an e-mail is too impersonal). Explain your wish to marry his daughter. There’s no sugar-coating this. But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?" The relationship between them might not be as close as it could be, so she may not be comfortable with you asking her father at all. Let him know how important your partner is to you and all her good qualities. He’ll appreciate the courtesy, and both of you can walk away without any embarrassment. But my process was much more about making sure my future wife had no idea I ever asked. Humor. If the two of you are enjoying an activity you’re used to doing together, it will be more casual when you bring up the ever-so-serious idea of proposing to his daughter. What will he ask? Tell him how much she means to you. Is your girlfriend close or estranged to her parents? Graciously Blessing the Couple The decision to marry is really between your daughter and this man, although you likely feel that it’s your responsibility to protect your daughter. This article assumes that your fiancee’s family are very traditional. Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. But one real dad has a response to this song. Talk about it. All Rights Reserved. For a father, this moment is a very big deal. How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter? First, I want to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and (spouse’s name), and how much I appreciate being welcomed into the family. Chance to see it for herself wish to spend the rest of our lives and! Equally apprehensive be individuals — to be individuals — to be sincerely transparent each! Not, ask her father will refuse to give his blessing to marry her … do. 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